Impostor Syndrome
Women, even in the most senior leadership positions, are more prone to express a sense of self-doubt than men are. Some will admit that they think they are a fraud and are just waiting for someone to tap them on the shoulder to tell them so. Even though they have attained success in their careers and demonstrated many achievements through pure hard work and taking risks.
This self-doubt may make women more likeable and empathetic individuals yet it leads to a lack of self-confidence or emanates because of a lack of confidence.
Lacking in confidence will prevent putting yourself forward for opportunities that do exist and taking the necessary risks.
Women are more hesitant about believing in or selling/promoting their own capabilities when applying for a promotion or new position. I call this the ‘cringe factor.’ For some reason, women feel they need to tick all the boxes before applying for a role whereas men will “give it a crack.” Men will learn on the job whereas women believe they need to be fully competent before applying. This is a mindset women must change…and you don’t need more training or education!
Women are also very self-critical and quite critical of other women. I constantly hear women state that they ‘could do better” so it’s important to have the confidence to seek and accept all opportunities.
These seven tips and tools may help you deal with the imposter syndrome:
First acknowledge and understand it exists and remember how good you are. It's like training a muscle, you have to keep working at it.
Take on this challenge: Do something you are afraid of…every day. This exercise alone will help build your confidence. It may be as simple as making a phone call you feel uncomfortable to make.
Quiet the voices in your head. Turn the negative talk into positive talk to relieve the self-doubt. Know yourself and be content with who you are. If you aren't happy with yourself, you are the only one who can change that. A couple of my favourite sayings are:
“your head is a bad neighbourhood, don’t get there alone”!
"Self-doubt is a committee in my head that sits down and has a meeting every time I want to step out of my comfort zone." Iyanla Vanzant. It reflects the internal struggle that many people face when they are about to do something new or challenging. It's a humorous but accurate way of describing the chatter of conflicting thoughts and emotions that can arise in moments of uncertainty.
Change the habits and patterns that cause you to procrastinate, create self-doubt and paralyse you to take risks and move forward. Discipline alone doesn't change habits. Identify what the habit is and replace the trigger for the habit which will then change your behaviour. Associate your trigger(s) with your habit(s). To change a habit, set up a schedule so that a trigger precedes each habit.
Change your language from I can't to yes, I can!
Take baby steps to reach an overall objective or goal, and ask yourself at the end of each day, "which step have I reached today"? It's like eating an elephant - small mouthfuls at a time.
At the end of each day, identify what you are grateful for.